


Moonbeams and Summer Dreams

by Holyangelheart



Series: “The sun is always shining when I’m with you.” [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-03-29 07:26:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3887473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holyangelheart/pseuds/Holyangelheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua has the attributes to a Cloud God, but thanks to his parents and his rare divine powers, he inherits the position of God of the Moon. One day he becomes too curious and goes against the strictest rule that he must always obey: he visits Earth and meets Gon. </p><p>Contains large doses of angst and fluff. I’ve been called Satan on more than one occasion because of this fic. They will be happy in the end I swear...eventually! I used a lot of time on this fic, 5 weeks I believe so I hope you guys like this! I kinda just put my heart and soul into this and well I don’t benefit much from writing this so I hope it’s good! I was told to cut it into chapters so yeah! </p><p>Warning: Angst, blood, major character deaths (sorta), torture, suicidal thoughts, a lot of tears and flowers throughout the chapters, however this first one is happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Their First Meeting

**-x-x-**

Above the dark clouds, a lone figure draped a dainty arm along the top of a cloud as he dipped his fingers in the vapors, swirling it around until he became bored. There's nothing to do when you’re the only one still alive on the moon.

“How does one save oneself from boredom?” He asked the fluff which upon being graced by his touch turned into a creature with floppy ears and a poofy little tail. The familiar made of clouds bounced around him, unknowingly making the lonely god’s firm lips twitch in amusement. He decided to call it a “Bunny.” His days were short, but his nights grew on for far too long. Sometimes he wished that there wouldn’t be night at all. He would watch the illuminated planet called “Earth” from the railing’s edge of the hidden kingdom in the sky, his silver lined throne produced from shimmering moonstones and gold forever vacant and cold.

He let the little creature bounce around and when it decided to bounce away from his reach, he felt a twinge in his chest. And yet he allowed it to leave, at least the creature could live away from this forsaken kingdom.

Oh, how he wished he could venture to the mortal realm, to see the intriguing fragrant plants with colorful buds and meanings for himself. It’s the only dream he held onto after countless centuries of isolation. When he was young, he found a slightly wrinkled scroll deep in a chest. On it was the different varieties of these plants called “flowers” from his older brother Milluki who was knowledgeable in all things human from his countless visits. Each flower had a different color, a different shape of the petals, the leaves, even the scent would vary. The most intriguing thing of all was the different meanings. Some could mean patience, friendship, and even watchfulness.

Scroll after scroll, he would learn more about these flowers, soaking up the information to entertain his lonely self, the image of them were burnt into his mind. Even now he could still recall each and every type by memory.

“Milluki,” Killua called.

A thick deity clad in a robe of black silk woven by the most renowned worms in the Valley of the God’s stood frozen as the familiar voice commanded him. “Yes, what is it Killua-kami?” Milluki turned around, his round stomach and plump face a stark contrast to Killua’s high cheekbones and muscled abdomen. Although Milluki was the older deity, Killua outranked him as the God of the Moon since Milluki was only a mere traveler of the two worlds.

“Have you found more literature of these flowers since your last visit to the mortal realm?” He asked, glancing at the scrolls under his brother’s arm, noticing a black item that he never saw before. “What is that fascinating object you have there, Milluki?”

Milluki gulped, holding the object behind his body, obscured from Killua’s keen eyes. “This?” He lifted the scrolls, “Just some things Illumi-kami asked me to retrieve.”

At the mention of their eldest brother, Killua visibly showed disgust as it flitted across his pale features for only a fraction of a second. However to high beings such as themselves, it was as though time moved in slow motion, long enough for Milluki’s brain to register everything from the small tilt of Killua’s lips to the way his nails suddenly grew in length as it dug into his porcelain skin. Even the short, quiet inhale of breath that filled his anxious lungs did not go unnoticed.

“Fine,” Killua turned, his long glittering robe made of starlight and material woven of the same properties of dark matter flowed behind him, hovering above the ground. “Oh and Milluki…?”

“Yes?” The deity asked hesitantly. He swallowed the sigh of relief he had almost allowed to escape.

The end of Killua’s robe transformed into a black gas and solidified to form a spike which pointed at Milluki’s neck, yet the god did not turn around to see the small widening of his brother’s eyes. “Next time you lie to me, I will not be as forgiving,” he let a hint of his bottled up murderous intent slip out, freezing his brother further.

Milluki tilted his head a little; his eyes closed so as to not show how he seethed inside, “Yes Killua-kami,” he said, tight lipped. When the sound of the prideful steps faded in the distance, he finally glared at the path his brother left in the open sky, one day he would get the long deserved revenge he had been waiting centuries for.

 

**-x-x-**

 

For what appeared to be days, the black object tucked under his brother’s arm wouldn’t leave his thoughts. Although he thought it was covered in black, the short sides were full of a tan square with lines in it. Perhaps the black layer was just a cover, but what would be hidden within such an unusual thing?

His constant need to understand how things work was the root of his boredom. Gods such as himself are expected to sit in a throne with bustling servants and fulfill their duties, but Killua long forsook such old traditions. It wasn’t long before he found himself lurking above Milluki’s kingdom, not as large as his own, but adequate. He used his divine powers to create a large dark wolf made of clouds that thundered quietly as it waited for directions.

“Sniff out the object that I so desire,” he ordered. It took his creation only seconds for it to retrieve the item.

He rode the huge being back to the moon where he erected barriers so that when his brother realized his mistake, he could not intrude. “Such odd textures…” He mumbled as he stroked the interesting thing. He sat on top of the roof of his castle, the view otherworldly as the countless galaxies were practically within arm’s reach. The cover felt rough and yet smooth at the same time, possibly a skin of a living being. “Ah, perhaps it was this ‘leather’ Milluki rambled on about a long time ago,” he mumbled to himself. What an interesting creation.

Killua inspected the object from all sides, gazing at the detail since it was clearly manmade. His curiosity overtook his reasonable side and he finally opened it. A small gasp escaped his lips when he turned the cover and it revealed a tan paper with ink scribbled on it to form words. It was a language different than that of the gods, but gratefully he could read any and all languages with ease. He hesitantly turned the pages from the bottom right corner, careful not to bend such an interesting artifact. The thing he now understood was a “book” which is a new way to keep important information unlike their scrolls. Just when did humans advance so much? How long has it been since he last counted the Earth’s orbit around the sun? What else has his brother been hiding from him?

As he expected, Milluki banged on the barrier’s entrance a while later, his face red with anger. “Killua! Return my possession this instant!”

In a veil of smoke, Killua drifted in front of him. He stayed silent for a second until he saw his brother’s mouth open once again, “Do you mean this possession?” When he saw his brother’s mouth open and close like a fish out of water, he continued. “The possession that you obviously tried to hide from me all these years…? How many deities know that humanity has advanced to the point that they have created inventions even us gods do not have?”

In his fit of anger, Milluki had forgotten how cunning his brother is, “Well I—”

“What else are you hiding from me Milluki?” He walked closer to Milluki’s face; the only thing protecting him from his rage was the barrier that only he had the power to control. “Tell me, now.”

“Illumi-kami believes that if you become too curious about the mortal realm, that you will venture there without permission and the Moon will be unprotected.”

Killua blinked at his detailed response, finding it a little odd but smirked. “Well Illumi is right; I do want to venture down there now.” He turned around, his new familiar appearing in his spot as it growled at his brother.

“Do not tell me that you have been creating these…things again!? You know how Illumi-kami will feel when he finds out.”

“Illumi will not hear a word about this as long as a pesky little rodent stays silent,” Killua glared at him, his nails growing into sharp points, perfect to kill a god with.

Milluki huffed and crossed his arms, waiting until Killua was out of sight to finally return to the main kingdom where the rest of the Zoldyck gods await.

 

**-x-x-**

 

As Milluki predicted, the urge to visit the mortal realm was became harder to ignore as each day passed. His divine beasts were no longer entertaining so he let them loose, where they went was of no importance as long as they don’t do anything wrong. He missed them constantly, but any place is better than being stuck with him.

One day, he finally gave into his curiosity. He leaned too far over the railing of his kingdom, and for once he allowed himself to fall. Well, rather than fall, he floated down through space and into Earth’s stratosphere, normally if an object were to do such a thing; it would catch on fire and kill many who are unlucky enough to be near. He yawned and crossed his legs as he sat on a fluffy cloud, a way to disguise himself and yet still be able to view the humans from up close. Sadly, his powers were limited to the Moon so he could only visit during the night time. Daytime is a whole other world that he would never get to experience so long as he’s the God of the Moon.

If there was one thing he was jealous over his siblings was just that, the ability to go wherever they please. If he ever dares to visit during the day, his body will suddenly go “Poof” and return to the sky. If he ever lingers for even longer, he will turn into vapors and disappear forever.

As he floated down, Killua noticed a plot of land in the middle of a great blue sea, he didn’t know what came over him, but he felt compelled to get a closer look. It turned out the island wasn’t as small as he initially thought and soon he could see rows and rows of something. A small excited smile graced his lips at the thought, was it what he had dreamed about for years?

All the homes on the island were dark, as though all of them were asleep, but he didn’t care. What he cared about was the chance to see flowers with his own two eyes, magical living organisms that come and go with the seasons. Perhaps if he learns more about flowers, he can learn about the mysterious beings called humans as well.

Without thinking, Killua hovered above the flowers, so close that he could smell the floral scent, but he wanted a stronger memory of them to last him forever. However just when his feet hovered slightly above the dirt, he noticed a little ball. As he gazed at the thing, it lifted its head, tan skin with constellations on its face, a tiny human he presumed.

The small human looked up at him then, eyes bloodshot and nose dripping with a weird substance he has no knowledge of. “Who are you…?” It asked, sitting in front of the rows and rows of beautiful yellow flowers that resemble the sun. And yet in the darkness of the moon, the petals which normally gaze at the bright sky were now glaring down at the ground.

The human’s face showed an emotion he never experienced himself but heard of from stories growing up; a face full of confusion and curiosity, but not an ounce of fear was reflected in his amber eyes. “I am no one of importance,” Killua said in reply.

“Why do you talk like that?” The boy stood, a baby in comparison to his divine body. “Mito-san says that only rich people talk like that, who are you mister?” He asked.

The constant questions began to make his head ache. Just who was this human child and why is he having such an effect on him? That’s when he decided to touch the child’s head with his pointer finger, immediately causing him to fall asleep. He glided his finger in the air, a cloud forming as the child nestled into the softness he created out of thin air. The small smile on its face stirred something inside of him that he just couldn’t place.

He followed the scent of the human back to one house that was close to a forest. He didn’t dare to go inside, but used his divinity to tuck the child into what he assumes to be his resting place. It would be bad if another human saw him, there was no way such an incident would go unpunished by his father and mother. He may be one of the highest ranked gods in their family ever, but he still didn’t want to face their wrath.

In the end, he decided that he should return to his duties, but not before plucking a dandelion from the grass. He inspected it and whispered, “What is your name little one?” His eyes grew wide when his breath scattered the seeds and floated in the air. On one hand, he was hurt by it, but on the other he was happy to see a flower dancing in the wind, a kindred spirit. _Perhaps it would be unsettling if those flowers that resemble the suns were to fall apart by his touch as well_ , he pondered.

Killua picked another flower, this one small with yellow petals and a flimsy stem. _It will just have to do for now,_ he nodded to himself. This time, he surrounded the flower in a mist to preserve the moisture. As he floated up to the moon he watched as the lights all over the world began to become smaller and smaller in the distance.

Once he got to his balcony made of diamonds and moonstone, his feet gently stood on top of the railing as he twirled around to view the glimmering stars around him, “Humans would trade their own life if it meant being allowed to catch a glimpse of the stars from my eyes,” he assured himself since he found pride in that thought, but he couldn’t help but feel envious of the weak creatures. “Oh, what I would do to view the sun through their eyes.”

Killua sighed before he placed the flower on top of his long dining room table. He stared at it, unsure of what to do with it now. Hours passed with him just staring, his mist dispelling as his mind became distracted. Once all the mist evaporated, the flower quickly crumbled before him as it can never survive on the moon alone, another similarity between them.

The next night when the moon was finally glowing above the island, he once again visited the flowers. He wished to touch one, but once he was within arm’s reach, he noticed the little child lying on the earth, quietly breathing as though it was the most comfortable place to sleep. He carried the child to his quaint home which he shared with his two guardians, this routine occurring every night for a week in human time. He began to look forward to the moments where he’d be able to observe this creature sleeping in such a vulnerable position where he could easily kill him if he ever wished to.

“How are you able to sleep so soundly in a stranger’s arms, child?” He asked quietly, watching the human child snuggle closer to him in search of warmth. He stared a second longer than he should have before tucking him into bed.

Wide amber eyes opened suddenly to stare at him and Killua couldn’t react in time to use his divine gift. “It’s you again Mister!” Gon whispered with a happy smile. There was no evidence of having been asleep besides the small drop of drool on the corner of his mouth that could be seen.

Killua blinked and slowly waved his hand in front of the child’s face but alas it only smiled wider in response. _Why aren’t my powers working?_

“So mister, why do you always tuck me into bed at night?” He asked, sitting in a seiza position on top of his bed. “I wanted to see if you really do so I acted like I was sleeping!”

  
Now he finally understood why meeting a human was a bad thing for gods. He flicked his wrist, casting a spell of sorts on the child. He used a potent amount of power on Gon and watched as he fell onto his side. A sigh escaped his lips while he covered Gon in the thick blue and white blanket, glad to know that he got him to stop. “I should probably stop visiting the flowers from now on,” he whispered to himself. As the words registered in his mind, he didn't recognize the voice that clearly came out of his mouth. “Just what is this…?” The voice was high pitched and squeaky. Childish in comparison to his deep voice he normally had. He slipped out of the window and floated up to the roof of the house. He was on the tallest part of the house and pulled down a dark gray cloud to gather the water droplets in order to form a mirror.

The mirror showed his masculine features slowly transform into his childlike self that he had outgrown centuries before. His strong chin was now round, perfect nose now a small button in comparison. Soon his whole body was that of a child and his clothes draped over his tiny frame in the frigid night air. “Who is responsible for this nonsense?” He asked as he gazed up at the moon, but he knew that no one was there to answer since he was now stuck on Earth forever.

 

**-x-x-**

No matter what he did, the whole night was filled with Killua grunting as his powers refused to light up the sky. He could barely form clouds by will and was now forced to stay grounded, his bare feet touching the dirt. He paced around, mumbling to himself as he tried to think of what the next step should be. In his preoccupied state, he didn't notice the eyes on him as he complained about his situation. At least not until he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned around and ended up being face to face with Gon, Killua being only an inch or two taller.

“Hey who are you? I’ve never seen you here before! What’s your name?” Gon asked excitedly, his eyes sparkling and his lips wide.

The thought that Gon didn’t recognize him was enough for him to reply calmly, “My name is Killua, what is yours young one?” He asked, confused by Gon’s sudden laughter at his expense.

“Pffft, why do you talk like an old man and wear baggy clothes?” He laughed, wiping the tears out of the corners of his eyes.

“I-I do not know of this old man you are speaking of!” Killua huffed, folding his arms that are covered in the long sleeves of his heavenly top, pouting lightly. He’s only a few centuries old, not that old at all compared to his brother Milluki anyway.

“There it is again!” Gon smiled widely and pushed his hand into Killua’s surprised one, “Nice to meet you Killua! I’m Gon!”

“Gon…?” The name felt pleasant on his tongue; he repeated it thoughtfully as Gon’s smile grew.

“So what are you doing here?” Gon asked, his hand gliding through the air, showing the scenery around them. “This island is a small port for fishermen so any children that visit never stay. There’s only one other child and she’s too young to play with. You’re the first person that I’ve met that’s my age!” He didn’t even need to breathe after that long response

“Well…” Killua trailed off, his mind was a mess as he tried to come up with a reason as to his stay.

“Ehehe.” Gon grinned widely and placed his hands behind his head as he walked. It was as though he expected Killua to follow, but instead the tiny god hesitated. “Hm?” Gon glanced back at him and pointed in the direction of his house. “Do you want to meet Mito-san?”

“Mito-san…?” At first Killua was confused, but then he remembered hearing the name from Gon one night while he was dreaming. Should he really meet this human woman for the first time in such a weak form? He’s practically a human now with only a bit more power than their fragile selves. He swallowed as the other watched him patiently and then nodded.

The two quietly walked towards the house, their eyes focused on different things. The black haired chid’s eyes faced the heavens, his mind absorbing the way the clouds move and how the birds fly higher and higher until they’re a tiny speck in comparison to them. The childish god hungrily soaked in the scenery around him, the way the air smells, the different plants, even the way the cold dirt would feel hot underneath the sun’s rays.

That last thought made him freeze in place, “The sun’s rays?” He whispered to himself and closed his eyes. He expected to evaporate at any moment, but he didn’t, he felt perfectly fine besides a little too cozy even in the huge clothes. They dragged on the dirt path, ruining them forever.

“Mito-san—!” Gon knocked on the door before walking into the small home and announcing his presence with his booming voice.

“GON what did I say about— Oh a guest!” Mito shouted. She turned around and finally noticed the second presence a bit too late, nearly dropping the slippery plate in her hands. She wiped her palms on her apron and walked towards Killua with the second sincerest smile he had ever seen. “Hello, what’s your name?”

“Uh…Killua,” he noticed her gaze and followed it to his dirty feet, his face heating up in seconds. He closed his eyes, expecting a verbal lashing, but she just patted his head, smoothing out his tainted snowy locks.

Mito placed her hands on her hips and smiled, “How about you take a bath and Gon can share some of his clothes with you, will you do that for me Gon?”

Gon beamed at her and nodded, “Of course! Killua is my friend after all!” He grabbed Killua’s hand and rushed up the stairs.

The mini god blinked as the warmth spread throughout his body, a feeling he had desired for centuries and it was finally given to him. It was such a small act that didn’t require complex thoughts at all, as if it was a natural thing to do. His eyes began to search everywhere, memorizing every little crack and speck on the walls, the way the floors creaked as their feet glided across the house, things looking different from such a short height. It’s as though he’s seeing things from new eyes and not his own.

“Here!” While Killua had been soaking in all the new things, Gon had already picked out a spare tank top and shorts with underwear. “The bathroom is this way!” He motioned for him to follow and led him to another room where a bathtub sat near a wall. Gon turned it on and added some pink liquid that Killua had never seen before.

“What’s that?” He asked. His voice was full of wonder as the liquid began to foam up as it mixed with the water, bubbles forming. Such a sight to behold! “Do you have divinity as well?”

Gon blinked, “Huh? No silly this is a bubble bath!”

“A…bubble bath?” Wide eyes grew as the words were repeated and the sound of them paired up with his childlike voice erected a giggle. He dipped his fingers into the mysterious concoction, swirling the foam around. “They remind me of soft clouds.”

“Clouds…?” Gon tilted his head and nodded in agreement. “I never thought of them like that before but you’re right!” A smile graced his tanned features, dazzling Killua with his innocent glory.

The white haired impostor licked his lips, “Is it not good to introduce strangers into your humble abode after only just meeting said stranger?

Amber colored eyes blinked at him, as if the thought never once crossed his mind, “But you aren’t a stranger, you’re Killua!”

“Oi,” Killua glared at him slightly, “You do not even know my surname! How do you know that I am telling the truth about my said identity?”

“Well…” Gon smiled softly, his eyes a window to his pure soul, “I know you would never lie to me Killua!”

Although he wanted to prove the ignorant child wrong, he stepped into the bath and cleansed himself while Gon waited in his room, organizing it for his guest’s enjoyment.

  
Thirty minutes pass by before Killua revealed himself in the borrowed clothes, a perfect fit compared to his old ones. “That was a lovely…bubble bath,” he whispered the last part, a small lifting of the corner of his lips. “You must tell me your secret.”

“What secret?” Gon asked as he turned around, his eyes meeting Killua. He noticed that the other’s white hair was flat and slightly damp. “Pfft! You look funny,” he laughed.

“…What?”

Gon stood and grabbed the towel that rested on his doorknob. He moved over to Killua and rubbed the top of his head with the fluffy towel. “It looks a lot better than earlier! Your hair was full of leaves and dirt.” He smiled softly at the thought, “Mito-san is used to the sight of messy children since I return everyday like that but you would have given the neighbors a shock!”

Killua tilted his head slightly, his expression remaining passive. “Neighbors…?” He trailed off as he tried to remember where the other humans lived. The surrounding homes were too far apart compared to the other cities he saw on his way down to Earth.

“Yeah! Even though they live a bit away, we still call them that…okay done!” Gon smiled at his job well done, Killua’s hair now resembling that of a blow-dried fluffy cat. He then pulled out a pocket mirror from his bedside table to show Killua his appearance.

“Why is my hair standing up like that?” He asked, trying to smooth it down with his small hands.

Gon’s eyebrows knit together, “What? You’ve never seen your hair before? It looks the same as it did earlier.”

“Oh…the same as it was earlier?” Killua glared at him, scoffing loudly, “My hair is as soft and gentle of the highest quality clouds formed by celestial fingers.” He folded his arms and sulked a little, “So how dare you degrade my beautiful locks as if they do not matter.”

“I didn’t say they don’t matter, just that it looks nice to me!” The tiny child pouted before mimicking Killua’s gesture. “Jeez you don’t know how to listen Killua!” He shouted and folded his arms.

That’s what tipped him over the edge. “Listen? Why does someone as great as I have to listen to a measly child?”

Gon pointed at him, pissed. “Why do you keep calling me a kid? You’re only an inch taller than me! How old are you then huh?!”

“I am—,” He was about to shout his real age before remembering that he’s supposed to be masquerading as a human. “I’m the same age as you!”

Once again he points, his finger directed at his face. “I’m 12 years old! When is your birthday then huh?”

“Birthday…?” Just what is a birthday? Was it the day you come into existence? He tried to recall what humans use to measure time and compared it to what deities use. “My day of birth is the seventh day of July.”

“Aha! My birthday is May fifth so I am older!”

That was a big slip up on his part, “Hmph,” he huffed. He wanted to reason that he’s wrong, but he’s the only one at fault for agreeing to be the same age in the first place.

  
With his little victory over Killua, the two chatted about random things like what the two of them do in their free time. Before they realized it, they had gotten close even if it had only been a few hours in their perspective but the sun had already gone down.

“Hey Killua…do you have a home to return to?” Gon asked as the two lied on top of the bed, their legs dangling on the side.

Killua held his hand up and then closed them into fists, “I do not know if it is considered a home, but yes I do have a place to return to.”

The child scratched his cheek, avoiding eye contact. “Is it that…you don’t want to go home?” He asked after a pause.

The uncertainty in Gon’s voice made Killua glance at him, he shrugged as he was already picking up human mannerisms. “It is not that I want to go home but more so that I cannot.”

Gon opened his mouth to speak, but closed it after thinking. “…Do you want to stay here for now? Mito-san wouldn’t mind at all if you do.”

The sincerity in those amber eyes made his reflect the same emotions, “…That sounds pleasant, thank you,” he smiled at the thoughtful gesture.

A dazzling smile spread across his face before he ran down the stairs to tell Mito the good news, “No need to thank me and no need to be polite either you know!” Gon’s shout faded as he went to Mito on the first level.

However it wasn’t long before he appeared in the doorway, jumping onto the bed. He rolled over to Killua and lied down on his stomach. His feet were now up in the air before he grabbed a small notebook from underneath his pillow. “She said yes, but I already knew she would agree! We’re friends now after all Killua!” He said with a grin.

“Mhmm…You trust people too easily…” He whispered under his breath, not loud enough for the other to hear him. There are still a lot of secrets between them and that is to be expected since it’s their first real meeting, although he had been keeping an eye on the child for a while now. “What is in that thing of yours?” He questioned, failing to hide his curiosity.

“This? It’s my notebook…” A red tinge appeared on Gon’s cheeks as he rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. “It’s just a thing where I write down stuff about the flowers on the island since a lot of them are native only to here.”

“FLOWERS—?” Killua’s sudden shout made Gon jump a little. “I mean,” he coughed to stabilize his voice. “May I see it, if you do not mind?”

“Um sure,” Gon looked down, unsure but gives it to him automatically.” They’re just random scribbles and some petals, no biggy.”

After that, silence filled the room as Killua stared at each page intently. His eyes followed the written script of Gon’s writing, the way each line curved and flowed. He could imagine how focused Gon must have been despite the sloppiness; he must have been focused on the flowers themselves rather than his work being illegible.

Each part of a flower was written down, the colors, the shape of the stem, even the height from the soil to the tip of the tallest petal. A specimen of each flower was glued to the paper, taking up the entire page. Gon even wrote about his feelings towards the flowers. The way each one had a different meaning in his mind, how he reminisces about a certain summer or a cold winter despite their location on an isolated island used as a port.

For one flower, it took up more than 20 pages leaving only one empty page left in the notebook. That flower had a drawing of it taking up two whole pages, drawn in a colorful landscape. The bright sun in the top left hand corner was made with a mix of orange and yellow. Blue skies surrounded it on one page while the other was done with a rich dark blue to resemble the night sky. A lone pale moon hovered in the far right corner, not showing the full size. It was surrounded by intimidating clouds that overlap with the meadow full of his favorite flowers. They gaze up towards the sky on the left side, but loom over the page on the right. Just like that time the two had first met.

Killua’s lips parted slightly, awestruck at the beauty. His right pointer and middle finger glided over the name of the flower, “A Sunflower…?” A soft whisper and a single tear fell down his cheek but it was so small that he didn’t feel it at all. He whispered the name as if he found out the greatest secret of his entire existence. He turned the page and noticed that Gon had written his dreams about the flower which covered the remainder of the book. Sadly the blushing boy snatched it from him, the last thing Killua was able to read was: “ _It happened again, just like that one time—_ ”

The boy’s eyes widened after he realized what he did. “A-Ah I’m sorry—!” He stuttered out an awkward laugh. “It’s nothing of importance, really Killua.”

Despite feeling the need to dig deeper, Killua ignored the urge and rolled his eyes instead. “Fine, I understand.”

Right at that moment, a soft yet strong knock could be heard from outside the door. Mito waited for Gon’s perky “Come in!” before opening it slowly and poking her head in between the space. “The two of you should go to sleep now! It’s time for lights out!”

Gon nodded and slipped his notebook into his bedside table before smiling at her, switching the lamp off. “Goodnight Mito-san!” He waited for the sound of her own door closing before throwing the covers over him, obeying her commands.

However, one tiny god pouted slightly, “I am not tired at all!” He stopped shouting after he felt a finger against his lips.

The smile on Gon’s own lips dazzled him, “How about I sing you a lullaby to lull you to sleep?” Gon asked

Curious, Killua nodded. _Just what types of songs could this country boy even know_? However, he wasn’t ready for the beautiful and charming voice to fill the air. He listened intently, loving the way each syllable sounded when Gon’s the one singing it. Steadily, his eyelids became heavy and he could have sworn he felt something against his cheek right before he lost consciousness.

As he watched the white haired angel, Gon squeezed his pale hand with his tanned one, “Sweet dreams Killua.”

 

**-x-x-**


	2. Summer Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I grew impatient and decided that I wanted to feel accomplished tonight so I don't stay up too late working on another angst fic for KilluGon so here you go! In this chapter, Gon and Killua continue their adventures on the island and it shows how close they've become! Some angst ensues as well, but this chapter is fluffy.

 

**-x-x-**

 

_Lightning flashed through the sky as winds tore through the flower patches, cleaving the roots from the soil and throwing them aside. People were screaming, their houses being blown away and even trees were falling into the ocean. Loud thunder claps rip through the skies, the coal colored clouds raining down on everything, one lone island especially._

_“Why—? Why is this happening?” Killua looked down at his hands; expecting long slender fingers that resemble porcelain, but seeing short chubby ones instead. Without his powers, there was nothing he could do to help._

_“This…This is your fault!” A small shadow, only an inch shorter than him comes running towards him in a fit of rage. His small hands are stronger than they look as it beats against his chest. “I didn’t ask for your help! I didn’t ask for you to be here, just go back to where you belong!” The shadow takes a deep breath before screaming at him, “I wish we never met! I wish we never became friends—! I WISH I COULD FORGET YOU!”_

_Killua stood there, his hands only a few inches away from the shadow’s body, hesitating. Should he embrace them? He wanted to, but what would happen once he does? Yet as the child cries, he doesn’t care about what happens to him, he wants the child to be happy, even if it means forgetting his existence. Even if it meant the memories would be only his to have, a god once again alone on his cold throne. “Gon—,” his voice is barely above a whisper, the black veil on the shadow’s face began to brighten, showing green clothes and tanned skin._

_Right when Gon’s eyes were about to return to their amber hue, Killua’s hands gently brush against his waist. It was a small touch, but it was the last he saw of Gon’s smile before he vanished in a puff of smoke. Killua looked down and saw his pale hands become covered in ash, before deep crimson began to drip slowly onto the trampled sunflowers beneath his feet._

* * *

 

 

A strangled scream escapes his lips as his world begins to shake. Hastily, he opened his eyes to see a worried Gon hovering above him.

“Killua! Wake up Killua!” Gon shook him softly, “It’s only a nightmare. It’s not real so wake up!”

“Gon…?” Killua licked his lips that taste of iron, he never bled before but he knew it was the red liquid from the dream. His eyes grew in size and his claws sharpened at the scent, but he tried to stop himself. “Get away from me!” He shouted at Gon before shoving him with his own body, enough to put space in between them. He rolled under him before jumping off of the bed, his nails dug into his fragile skin to stop the urge to tear Gon apart.

Gon ran after him with sweat dripping down his face as he tried to find Killua in the dark. If it weren’t for Killua wearing a white tank top and having cloud like hair, he would never know where to go. After a while, he could guess which path to take, his heart was pumping from something other than adrenaline. It was as if it was a sign of sorts, but he pushed that thought aside.

When he reached the sunflower patch, he saw Killua standing before the rows and rows of flowers. Gon noticed the soil that was layered differently, piled up in one spot. It was he spot he usually sat in when he visited to admire the flowers. “Killua…” Sapphire eyes glow in the darkness, making him take a step back, his natural reaction. “Killua, please…”

For a second, Killua’s eyes were blank; he tilted his head to the side. “Wh—?” _Who are you_? He was going to ask, but his lips were closed shut. His head began to hurt as the dream came rushing back to him, his fingers scratching his upper arms as he embraced himself.

“Killua…” Gon stepped forward, his arms stretched wide to comfort his friend, but stepped back as Killua’s voice echoed in the empty meadow.

“Don’t touch me!” He shouted at him. “Don’t you dare touch me you insolent human!” He fell to his knees, the image of blood stained hands permanently etched into his mind. _I don’t want to harm you…Gon._ “Stay away from me.” _Stay away from me for your own good because I am a monster._

The two were quiet as Killua sobbed silently; his hands covered his ears as the blood under his fingernails dried up. After a while, Gon sat down beside his friend, one sunflower away in distance, close enough for his presence to lend Killua comfort, but not too close that he might get yelled at again. His heart rate slowed down and now he was finally able to see in front of him, he counted the stars until the sun began to rise. When it finally did, he noticed that Killua had fallen asleep in the same position, his knees hugged to his chest and his hands covered his ears.

Slowly but carefully, Gon moved so that Killua’s head rested against his back. He carried him back home; his mind raced with questions, but didn’t dare to voice them. The sound of the soft snores from the other was too important for him to disrupt. When Gon reached the front door, he noticed the yellow flowers, one of them missing. He could tell because he would count every single flower on their property every day. He studied them and memorized everything. It was the only way to past the time there.

As he crept into the house and up the stairs, he tried not to step on the creaky areas. His body was on full alert while his mind reminisced about their first day together. He went from being the only 12 year old on the island to having a friend that’s sleeping over! Sure Killua has his issues, but so does he. He would never admit it, but seeing Killua’s ecstatic expression when he found out about his flower journal was enough to send him on cloud nine. _Thank you for letting me meet Killua, Kami-sama_ , he thanked the heavens. It lifted up his stress which made him smile, as though all the stress just evaporated into the chilly air. He then slowly walked into the room and bent his knees enough to place Killua on the bed.

However, as he tried to get him off, Killua held onto his clothes with a death tight grip. He sighed, _God Killua you’re so troublesome_ , he thought but the smile never left his lips. Not until he caught a glance of the dried up streams of blood that had flowed down his pale arms only a few hours ago. “Idiot,” he whispered.

Finally Killua’s grip loosened and he fell onto the bed. It was silent as Gon’s mind went crazy as he waited for some sort of response from the boy, but instead he just rolled over and nuzzled into the comforter, his dried up blood chaffed off and fell onto it.

“Jeez,” Gon clicked his tongue while he grabbed a towel to wet in the sink. He brought it back to dab at Killua’s wounds, carefully since he could hear soft hissing from the other which made him roll his eyes. “Idiot,” he whispered again, but his eyes softened as he cleaned off the blood. Despite not knowing anything about Killua and his past, the tug at his heart wouldn’t let him run and hide like most people would. This boy was so innocent and pure like the first snowfall of winter, a gift from God himself…to be so broken after a nightmare…it was as though he found a kindred spirit. He wanted to do everything in his power to protect Killua because he’s his first real friend.

Gon brightened at that thought, he was having a sleepover with his first real friend and even though it didn’t end like he heard it should, he was happy. Soon he finished cleaning up and moved into the bed, tucking himself and Killua in so that they wouldn’t get cold. The last thought on his mind was all about Killua, he wanted to get to know him more. He wants to know why he would react that way to a hug. Maybe one day he would finally get to hug Killua with his own two hands. A hug that would have so much meaning, one that would show how far they have progressed in their friendship. “Goodnight Killua,” he whispered again, pecking the other on the cheek and falling asleep on the opposite end of the bed so as to not give him more nightmares.

 

**-x-x-**

 

The next morning, Killua noticed his wounds but couldn’t remember what happened. Yet no matter how many times he tried to get Gon to tell him, he wouldn’t budge. Even when he tried to apologize because he knew something was wrong.

To make up for it, Killua brought Gon to an open grassy field where the two laid down and pointed at the sky to describe the clouds. Killua would explain what each cloud was named and Gon just lay in the lush grass with a gentle smile on his face as he listened. The two would point out the different shapes, seeing a cat in one and maybe a whale in another. However every time the two got really close to touching, Killua would notice and put some distance between them. He didn’t realize that Gon knew yet decided to stay silent.

“Hey Killua…?”

Killua looked back at him, “Yes?”

“How long do you plan to stay?” Gon picked up a blade of grass, twirling it between two fingers.

“Hmm…” The tiny god thought for a second before shrugging, “I do not know…” He thought of the human’s seasons and smiled, “I’m staying for the summer.”

“The summer?!” Gon jumped up, excited. That would mean he’d be there for a lot longer than he expected since summer only just started. Yet when it sank in that once summer ends Killua will be on his way home, he sat back down and sighed.

“What is wrong Gon?” He asked a concern look on his pale features. “Did I upset you?”

“It’s just that…” He didn’t know what to say, so he decided to just tell the truth, “I’m going to miss you when you go.”

Even though he didn’t know what the name of the feeling was, he still felt his chest tighten and his stomach become uncomfortable. Just what was this feeling? He didn’t know if he liked it or not but he did know one thing. He didn’t like it when Gon was sad. “Do not worry; even if I leave I will never be too far away.” _I will always watch you from the moon, even if you cannot see me,_ he thought automatically.

“Do you pinky promise?” Gon held his pinky out and when Killua eyed it weirdly, he took the lead and grabbed Killua’s pinky. He smiled as the feeling of his skin reminded him that physical touches are rare and should be treasured. He began to recite the promise and no matter how intently Killua listened it was still very confusing.

“Wait so if we break the promise we need to swallow needles?” He blinked; he didn’t realize humans were so dedicated.

“Of course not! It’s just an expression Killua!” Gon laughed and stood up before sprinting towards home, “It’s almost time for supper and the last one there needs to wash the dishes!”

“O-Oi Gon!” Killua chased after him, wishing he had his powers so that he could outrun him, but sometimes it’s nice feeling the wind whip at his cheeks while using his own strength to do things. In the end Killua lost by a hair and pouted the whole time. It wasn’t until he tasted Mito’s delicious home cooking did he think it was worth it; he really liked the meatballs she made. He decided that washing the dishes was a small price to pay for free lodging and meals, although he dropped the first…and second plate…possibly a third.

The two finally bathed together and took turns washing each other’s back. Killua had gotten accustomed to Gon’s gentle touches and forgot all about the secret that was being kept from him. He was able to fall asleep when Gon lathered a lavender scented lotion on him. Killua thought it was for him to smell good as he slept since he also remembered that lavender is meant to help him dream lovely things and excitedly accepted. He didn’t realize it was also used to help heal his wounds.

As Gon massaged the lotion onto Killua’s body, he noticed that the wounds from their early morning was already disappearing, leaving a faint scar. Soon there would be no trace of the event ever occurring but he didn’t mention it to Killua. Before he knew it, the two fell into a deep sleep, ignorant of the uproar occurring in the heavens above.

 

**-x-x-**

 

In Milluki’s castle, the deity was screaming at the top of his lungs at the innocent lesser beings. “Where is he?” Milluki glared at the rows and rows of servants, all of them kneeling and refusing to let the truth slip. No one even went to the castle on the moon anymore, not since Killua was banished after the Great War. “Where is Killua!?” His heart was racing as his mind couldn’t help but to think of the punishment he would receive for letting his little brother get away.

“W-We do not know Milluki-kami,” a servant with black glasses and ash colored hair bowed before him, “No one is allowed to visit the castle, you’re the one that announced that long ago.”

Milluki’s head throbbed, “That was then and this is now!” His voice echoed as he fumed. “Tell me Killua’s whereabouts or your heads will be served to me on a silver platter!” He roared for them to get to work. Some scrambled to search the grounds while others flew down to earth just in case. However no one would ever be able to find him unless he’s in his divine form, as a weak human, he’s practically invisible.

Without warning, smoke swirled like a tornado in front of him, so suddenly that he wasn’t able to react fast enough to the sharp needles made of hair pointed at his throat. “I-Illumi-kami,” he stuttered as he tried to bow without resulting with a decapitated head.

“I heard that Killu has been missing, it is your job to keep an eye on him Milluki,” although he spoke in a monotone, Illumi’s hair was pointing in all directions with a threatening aura. All of the lesser gods in the vicinity fell to the ground, some foaming at the mouth. Even Milluki felt his stomach turn from being exposed to Illumi’s toxic ability. “Do you remember what happens when you do not accomplish a task I appoint you?”

Black eyes focused on the ground, sweat dripping down his face like a downpour. “Y-Yes Illumi-kami,” he bowed.

Illumi turned around, gracefully gliding down the hallway to take his leave, “You should remember better than to cross me Milluki or else.”

That threat hung in the air even after he vanished. The words echoed in Milluki’s ears as though the scent clung to his skin. No matter how hard he tried to wash it off, it stuck. He wouldn’t be rid of the uneasy feeling until he finds the annoying pest or else both of them will be finished. “Find Killua’s whereabouts now! Or else you are all dead!” He then secluded himself in the throne room, anxiously waiting for hopeful news until then, he thought of inventive ways to torture the god once he returns.

 

**-x-x-**

 

Days later, the two become even closer than they were before. Killua would help with the dishes and even tried to cook, although he burned the food multiple times. The family ate the edible ones together and enjoyed their time at the dinner table. Afterwards, the two noticed that the sun was still shining bright due to it being summer, where the days are longer. In the middle of the forest, Gon had Killua place his hands on his face and lean against the trunk of a tree.

“Gon what is the purpose of this game you are forcing me to play?” Killua muttered under his breath, his eyes covered by his hands as Gon had instructed.

Gon slowly crept away, “There’s no purpose besides having fun! Now count to 10 slowly and try to find me!” He shouted.

“But—”

“No buts, it will be fun I promise!” Gon tried to muffle a giggle as he climbed up a tree, “Remember no peeking or else I win!”

The tiny god rolled his eyes but obeyed, “One…two…three…”

As he counted, Gon sat, perched on the highest branch. He gazed at the scenery around him, hoping that Killua would love the view as well.

“Eight…nine…ten! Come out come out where ever you are,” Killua recited the line in a monotone and stuck his hands into his pockets before kicking a rock. He tried to look bored while his senses were on full alert. There was no way he was going to lose a simple human game to a scrawny little kid. He heard some rustling towards the far left, yet he was surrounded by dense trees. “When I find you Gon you will be in a load of pain!” He called out, fishing for a reaction.

After walking underneath the trees, he admired the beauty of the forest. It was lush with life and he still couldn’t believe he can now touch plants with his own two hands. The way the colors represented everything natural and earthy, they reminded him of something irreplaceable and precious. He placed his hand against a tree trunk, the bark scraping against his palm. _Ah they really do remind me of Gon_ , he thought.

As Killua walked around, Gon waited in the biggest tree of them all, tapping his foot impatiently. Ugh Killua needs to hurry up already! He huffed and crossed his arms but as the sun shined through the thick branches, he couldn’t help but smile. _I really want to show Killua this view_ , he couldn’t help but to think. The way the sun began to set, the colors mixing into hues of brilliant pinks and oranges was a sight to behold and he wanted to show it to his most favorite person in the world.

While Gon was distracted by his inner thoughts, Killua had followed Gon’s presence and arrived at the bottom of the tree. He tried to think of a way to surprise Gon so he doesn’t jump away. His movements were graceful as he climbed the tree closest to Gon’s and swung to his branch before tapping his shoulder. “You’re it!” Killua smirked, standing on the branch while Gon sat on it, causing it to shake dangerously.

“O-Oi Killua!” Gon shouted, holding onto the branch for dear life. “Don’t scare me like that!”

Killua laughed triumphantly, “Isn’t that the whole point of the game?” He asked with the biggest grin.

Gon pouted, “Still! I could have fallen!”

“I see you jump from branch to branch all the time,” Killua frowned.

“You took me by surprise this time though!” Gon stood up now, his hands moving up in down in frustration, “Not fair Killua!”

“O-Oi,” Killua tried to calm him down, now understanding what he meant by the branch shaking dangerously. “Stop Gon before it breaks—”

Yet Gon didn’t hear him and continued to pout, “And here I wanted to show you the sunset!”

“W-Wait Gon!” Just as he shouted that last part, he heard the first crack.

“What?!” The cracking sounds continued until both looked at each other and went “Oh no” in their heads before it broke off completely. Luckily Gon’s side was more stable and he was able to grab onto a strong branch, catching Killua with his empty one. “Ugh Killua you’re so heavy yet also really light. You need to eat more.”

“Gon just pull me up!” Killua glared at him, but caught a glimpse of the sunset and stared. The view was absolutely breathtaking. He continued to stare until Gon yelled for him to at least make an effort to help.

Finally the two were able to sit on the strong branch, knowing not to stand for too long as they watched the sun fall below the horizon. Their shoulders were touching as they leaned against each other for support as the stars and moon finally began to shine lightly.

“I love the moon,” Gon whispered after a while as twilight surrounded them.

Eyes softened as the two gazed at the moon, though Killua now looked at Gon from the side, remembering every little detail of this moment so that it can last him for eternity. “You love the moon?” He asked with baited breath.

A blush spread on his cheeks, “U-Uh yeah I mean—,” Gon tried to come up with an excuse but he couldn’t. “No matter how I feel, the moon is always there for me. It’s the only constant in this life full of never ending changes.” He paused, trying to collect his thoughts. “Whenever I’m sad, I look up at the sky and see the moon there and I know someone is watching out for me. Even if I can’t see them,” a wisp of a smile and an awkward giggle brought a blush to Killua’s own cheeks. “Sorry I know I sound lame,” Gon laughed and then jumped off the branch, landing perfectly on the ground. His arm extended skyward for Killua to take, “Come on Killua, I’ll catch you.”

The tiny god stood then, his eyes wide with a mix of emotions, his anger showing outwardly while he was a wreck on the inside. “I do not need your help!” He shouted but then the moon suddenly glimmered and Gon’s words echoed in his head. The fact that Gon loves the moon, his kingdom, his home made him feel giddy. So giddy that he actually wanted to take his offered hand right then, but misjudged the distance and fell onto Gon instead, thankfully the child had a soft cushion for a bottom.

 

**-x-x-**

 

As the days passed by, the two spent their days leisurely with the sun shining down on them as they would play in the yard. Sometimes they would just talk for hours about anything and everything. Other times they were content just being in each other’s presence, not a word spoken until one would burst into a fit of giggles from a silly thought. They would go exploring often to satisfy their curiosity, one day they went into the forest and Gon found a huge beetle to show Mito as Killua stayed as far away from it as possible. Big bugs bothered him since it reminded him of the ones Milluki used to collect when he was in his younger years, the god would ride it around, the only thing able to bear his heavy weight.

However, today the two decided to do something they didn’t try yet. The sound of the two boys could be heard from a far distance, although no one could hear them for miles.

“G-Gon…Gon wait!” Killua squirmed under Gon’s grip, his heart beating fast, his lungs on fire. “D-Don’t you dare let go of me!” He ordered loudly.

Gon rolled his eyes, “Killua…” He blinked at him as he tried to bite back the grin that threatened to form on his lips. “Killua,” he repeated.

“What—?!” Killua snapped at him and tried to glare but couldn’t, at least not under these circumstances.

“There’s no need to panic! All you gotta do is stand.” He stood up to show his point. “These are shallow waters.”

“I…” A blush spread across his damp cheeks. “Shut up idiot! I knew that!” The tiny god finally stood, the water level was only up to his hips. He smiled and patted his dark blue swim trunks with cloud designs on it, but then folded his arms. “What are we doing here anyway?” He asked.

“We’re here to teach you how to swim! I can’t believe you came to an island without knowing how to swim. Where did you say you’re from again?” Gon asked.

When Killua didn’t respond, he changed the subject by splashing him with water. Now both of their hair was soaked and Gon’s hair was no longer spiky. His hair clung to his skin and framed his face. “Do you want to learn how to doggy paddle?”

“Doggy…paddle?” He asked and tilted his head to the side.

Gon laughed lightly, “Here.” He said and held out his hands with a warm smile. After he saw how the other was hesitant despite their closeness, his smile grew. “I promise to never let you go, Killua.”

Wet eyelashes fluttered as his hands hesitantly found Gon’s. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

Killua looked down at their hands and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and allowed the current to carry him. Soon he felt his body become buoyant as he listened to Gon’s encouraging voice.

“That’s it Killua,” Gon smiled. “Just move your legs up and down, but not at the same time.” He watched as Killua struggled to do it, but after hours of practice, Killua was finally able to swim on his own with minimal help.

“Look at me Gon!” Killua smiled proudly, a few yards out from the shore. He was able to learn the four popular swimming strokes, but grew attached to the butterfly due to the uniqueness and how he feels like he’s flying through the water.

“You’re doing great!” Gon shouted and then sat down on top of the shore after drying his body with a towel that Mito had packed for him. He took out the lunches, including Killua’s change of clothes. “Come over here and eat before you start looking like a sponge!”

“A sponge…?” Killua thought of the yellow square that they would use to clean up their plates. He stood up, not feeling the sand beneath his feet since he was still a bit far out. He was able to move his legs back and forth without panicking. His hands were definitely different, but he didn’t understand how it resembled a sponge. “You’re so weird Gon!” He replied loudly.

Gon rolled his eyes and waved at him, “It’s time to eat lunch! Mito-san made your favorite onigiri!”

“Salmon onigiri…?” The tiny god’s eyes lit up, drool slipping out of the corner of his mouth. He instantly began to swim back to shore, his arms moving at the same time, trying to get there as fast as possible. Once he finally got there, he felt the water cling to his body as the sun’s rays burned him. It was the first time he ever left the water since he got in, so the weight was heavy, causing him to fall down to his knees.

“Killua!” Gon pushed the stuff off of his lap and ran to Killua’s side, “Are you okay?!”

Killua’s voice was shaky when he finally spoke, “You never told me that it would hurt to leave the water. It feels like Milluki sat on me.”

The look on Gon’s face made Killua realize what he said, but Gon spoke first, “Are you okay though?” He wasn’t sure if he was alright or not, but he watched as the tiny god stood up, although with some difficulty.

He waited for his friend to ask him who Milluki is, but the question never came. Instead, the two found themselves watching the waves crash against the sand and rocks as they snacked on the onigiri.

Suddenly, Gon packed up everything and stood. He turned to Killua with his hand outstretched. “Hey Killua can I show you a secret place of mine?”

“A…secret place…?” He swallowed hard, happiness bubbling inside him. There was no hesitation as he grabbed Gon’s hand.

“Ehehehe,” the boy grinned from ear to ear, squeezing Killua’s hand and pointing towards the cliffs, “Yeah you’ll see when we get there,” he said happily.

For the whole way there, the two never let go of the other’s hand. Soon, they abandoned the beautiful view of the ocean for the tall mountains. The green scenery became more colorful as they walked. Now the two stood before a meadow that went downhill.

It was completely different than the grassy area near Gon’s home and the sunflower patch. This one had a wide range of colors, from yellows all the way to purples, the whole spectrum visible to the human eye. He walked towards the closest flower and bent his knees to smell them, never letting go of the warm hand holding his own. “This…This is so…beautiful,” his voice was soft as he whispered.

“Yes, it is.” Gon agreed. His eyes were glued to Killua’s rare dazzling smile. He didn’t want to let go either, so he bent down to smell the flowers as well, “These ones are…?” He trailed off since he couldn’t remember the names. He wished that he remembered to bring his notebook since he didn’t write down all the types from this meadow. It’s too far from his house for Mito to be comfortable with him visiting often so he would forget it most of the time.

“These are Daisies,” Killua said matter-of-factly. His fingers brushed along the soft petals, a smile on his lips. He glanced away and instantly perked up at the sight of another flower, “And these are Gardenias!” He gushed over the flowers before him.

Gon stared with a ridiculous smile on his face, he never saw the boy so happy before since they met only a month ago. “I’m surprised that you know so much.”

Killua kept staring at the flowers intently, his eyes glued to the faces. “They were inside my brother’s book.”

“…Your brother?” Gon asked.

“Yeah! He didn’t want to give it to me though so I took it,” he replied nonchalantly.

Gon wanted to comment on how he didn’t know he had a brother, but that might cause the other to become closed off again. So instead he just changed the subject, “What do these mean?” Gon asked as he pointed at a yellow flower, although he knew they were Daffodils.

Killua walked over to the flower and after thinking hard, he said something that threw Gon off. “Those are Jonquils,” he smiled. “They’re also called Narcissus and Daffodils, but I like them being Jonquils.”

“Wow…” Gon whispered. “What do they mean?”

“Jonquils mean love me, affection returned, desire for affection returned, and sympathy,” he recited from the top of his head.

“That’s a lot of definitions,” Gon mused.

“Mhmm but it shows how important it is to understand them. In the old days, they would use flowers as a way to send messages to others. If you sent the wrong flower, you could end a relationship when you meant to show that you’re interested in them.”

Gon brushed his fingers against a flower before carefully plucking it. “You sure do know a lot Killua…” He trailed off as he got a good idea. He began to pluck more flowers, picking a lot of blues and pinks. He ran up to the hill above them so that he could gaze at the meadow while also looking at the sky. Killua stuffed his hands in his pocket, needing the warmth that he suddenly lost.

Now the two of them lied down on top of the hill, a field of flowers below them. Rows and rows of color reached out as far as their eyes could see. It stretched until it reached the end of the cliff, where the ocean and the clear blue sky meet.

“It never ceases to amaze me…” Killua trailed off, full of awe as he stared at the view. “The way the heavens meet with the earth. I heard there are even bursts of sparkling flowers that light up the night sky.”

“Do you mean, uh…fireworks?” Gon asked as his hands fiddled with a pile of flowers with long stems. He glanced up at the other after hearing a giggle burst from his lips. Killua’s shoulders shook before his head tilted back to gaze at the sky.

“Fireworks—!” Killua’s eyes were wide and bright, “What a fun name for such a magnificent invention!” Humans really are such brilliant creatures that can create amazing things from nothing.

Soon both of them were giggling and enjoying themselves. They laid down in the grass, glanced at each other, then laughed as their voices boomed in another fit of laughter. Their tangled locks were full of grass and petals painted with colors of the rainbow.

Killua rolled over onto his stomach, his gaze focused on Gon as the boy wove the flowers together. He wanted to ask about what he’s doing but didn’t want to interrupt his intense concentration.

“And…then done!” Gon sighed in relief, wiping off the sweat on his brows. When he noticed Killua’s curious gaze, he blushed and hid the flowers behind his back. “Nuh-uh! No peeking!”

“Wha–?! I was watching the whole time!” Although he was so focused on his face to remember just what it was Gon created. He was too focused on Gon’s lips since he had a habit of sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth when thinking too hard.

Gon shook his head and stuck out his tongue, “Too bad or else you don’t get to see it! Now close your eyes!”

He sighed and then did as he was told, remembering the first time they played hide and go seek a while back. A small smile was already on his lips as he reminisced.

“Hold still…” Gon whispered from behind Killua, holding the precious item in his hands. “No peeking!”

“I know I know, you don’t need to tell me twice,” Killua waved off his threats as he tried to pass off his level of excitement as indifference. “Hurry up already Gon.”

“Jeez Killua!” Gon pouted but couldn’t help but to smile when he heard the giggle from Killua. Seeing the boy from above was different than he was used to, he couldn’t help but to marvel at how pretty he was. His eyelashes are especially long and the way his hair looked so fluffy…

“Gon!” Killua shouted impatiently.

“Okay okay jeez,” he blushed. He placed the item on Killua’s head and just as he did that, Killua’s eyes opened to see him. “W-Wah!” The sudden act made him gasp in surprise and step back.

Killua thought that it was weird how Gon was covering his face with his arm, but let it go. He felt the thing on his head with a gentle touch. He felt the familiar petals against his skin and smiled. “Can I look at it?” He asked hesitantly.

“Mhmm,” Gon smiled softly as the boy marveled at it. “It’s called a flower crown…great-grandma taught it to me when I was little since there was no one to play with.”  
“It’s…It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen.”

He blushed at that, “Nah…I don’t think so.” He scratched the back of his head and glanced at him. “You can keep it if you want to Killua,” he said. However, it was meant to be Killua’s all along.

“Really!?” Killua’s eyes were so wide, that it really resembled a surprised cat. Gon couldn’t contain his laughter for long. “W-What is it?” he asked, befuddled.

Gon waved him off, but continued, “It’s nothing, nothing.”

That just made him pout more, “It’s clearly not nothing!” He held the crown in his hands, gently since it was a precious thing that Gon made for him. “Tell me, Gon,” his voice became soft as the sun began to set underneath the clouds. They turned into deep reds, the sky appearing to be purple as the stars slowly began to come out of hiding.

The sound of Killua’s voice full of curiosity and desire made him stop. “It’s just that…you’re really cute Killua.”

“C-Cute!?” The tiny god’s face lit up like the setting sun. “I am not cute! I am mighty and powerful!”

“Don’t forget little!”

The other’s interjection was so natural that he didn’t realize what he said until it was too late, “Yeah I’m mighty, powerful, and li—!” Killua almost said the entire word, but stopped himself in time. “Oi!” He glared at the boy, but Gon was already off running up the hill, headed back to the house.

Gon laughed as he noticed Killua’s confused stare as he stood in the same place, shocked that Gon was already running away. “Catch me if you can!” He teased, his tongue sticking out to agitate him even more than before.

“O-Oi!” The realization that Gon actually pulled one over him finally registered. He chased the boy, carrying the crown in one hand so that it wouldn’t fall down and break. “That’s not fair Gon!” He shouted. He caught up quicker than Gon probably expected since he was able to tackle the boy down onto the lush grass and wrestled with him.

Gon gasped for air after a while, “Okay I give. I give!”

“You sure?” Killua asked with one eyebrow raised.

“Yes!” Gon sighed in relief as the weight of Killua was removed, but then he turned around and pinned the other down instead. “Aha!” He giggled as Killua stared at him, his mouth open. “Now I’ve got you!” He grinned widely.

Instead of wrestling, Killua stared at him, his eyes roaming Gon’s face. The silence made Gon uncomfortable, he was about to ask what he’s looking at. _Oh…I see_ , he thought. He followed his eyes and noticed that the other’s gaze went passed him; he was gazing at the starry sky that was above them.

“Did anyone ever tell you that your freckles resemble constellations?” Killua asked innocently, not noticing how Gon’s hands became warm around his wrists. “It’s beautiful to have qualities of the universe on your body. You’re beautiful Gon.”

“I—” Before Gon could comment on it, the two heard Mito’s calls for them to return home since it was already too dark for a normal person to see clearly. Yet the two could see perfectly fine. He instinctively jumped off of Killua after he realized how embarrassing their position was.

“Come on,” Killua dusted himself off and then dusted off Gon since the boy was practically frozen still. He held out his hand to him, a small smile on his face. “Let’s go home.”

Gon shook his head, trying to get rid of his thoughts and took Killua’s hand with a smile of his own, “Yeah, let’s go home.”

 

**-x-x-**


	3. I'm Glad to Have Met You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter skips most of the summer since the two continue their days as normal. Finally the time for angst has come. I wonder if it's as angsty as I intended it to be. I hope you're all ready. Also I figured out how to add italics and what not (I'm still new to this site) so if you want the full experience, reread the other chapters! Still not beta read and this chapter is towards the end of the fic.

 

**-x-x-**

 

Nights grew shorter as the days progressed. Little by little as the sun would rise over the horizon, Killua could feel that something was off. As the weather became hotter, his energy would evaporate quicker. He began to wake up later and sleep only hours after Gon had already gone to bed. He thought it was odd, but ignored the signs that were there. Even though he learned how to wash plates properly, he found himself leaving little cracks in them. Gon would sometimes tell him that his eyes glow like moonstones from the moonlight that shined through the window or that his hair sparkled when light was reflected off of it. He’d blush at that but try to change the subject, it wasn’t anything important anyway.

However, it wasn’t until one night that he found himself having a vivid nightmare, one that made his blood run cold. It was oddly familiar, yet he couldn’t quite place why. Just remembering it made his eyes sting and his heart ache. In a field full of sunflowers, the yellow-orange suns were painted with a deep red, the stars completely hidden. Yet, there was one part of the stormy skies that was clear of clouds; a pure silver moon hovered above, but as the seconds ticked by, it was tainted by a cloud of smoke that dripped blood, until the moon shined crimson.

When he woke, he found himself covered in a cold sweat, gripping onto the only thing that gave him comfort: Gon. Despite his jaw hurting from biting the pillow in order to not scream, he continued to grip Gon’s hand as the other snored peacefully. _How could I ever hurt an angel?_ Such a thought was what prompted him to climb out of the window and into the frigid night. He knew that something would happen one day if he stayed and that thought scared him. The sunflowers remind him of Gon and the moon is his domain. Does that mean something ominous is going to happen in the future? _Am I the one that will make Gon bleed?_

Killua stood on top of the roof, the same place where he found himself being transformed into such a tiny being, but since then so much had happened. _Is it alright for me to taste what true happiness is like?_ _A being as tainted as I_?

“I’m truly…so happy to have met you…” Killua whispered as he gazed at the dazzling sky. He was trying his hardest to ignore the ache in his chest that threatened to spill the crystal liquid from his eyes. He needed to find a reason to leave Gon and soon. He was already too attached to the boy, but with such an ominous being and his powers returning…he couldn’t think of what evils were to come.

All Killua wanted was to share the truth with the most important person in the world.  The person he longs for to the point where he ran away from eternal wealth and luxury to a quiet home on an island full of nature and life. He could have called for help if he wanted to, but why would he? Why would he want to ruin the best time he’s had since the beginning of his existence?

_This short moment in my long existence, although full of pain and suffering, it was enough to continue because of your smile. Just you calling my name was enough for me. Something akin to what you humans call a miracle._

Oh, how he wished that these days would never end, that even the nights would continue on forever if it meant spending more time with him. Even though he constantly saw such divine things in black and white, Gon sees everything in vivid color.

Killua should have remembered that everything a God wishes for always ends in disaster.

While the tiny god was lost in thought, he wandered through the night, his body knowing which path to take. He expected to wander to the grassy fields or even to the forest, but he found himself in the middle of the sunflower patch once again. Unlike his dream, the sky was full of stars, but the moon was obscured from sight. The dancing suns moved with the wind, but even such a beautiful sight couldn’t bring a smile to his face. If the beautiful sunflowers couldn’t lift his spirits, then what would? Perhaps an area with even more flowers for his eyes to enjoy would do the trick…He thought of just the place.

Slowly, his feet moved and tried to bring him to the meadow above the ocean, yet he couldn’t remember the path. He knew the way to the beach like the back of his hand and yet when he tried to find that trail to the mountain, he would constantly find grassy plains with not a flower in sight. It was odd; perhaps he was still sleeping as he walked? That would definitely explain a lot.

Right when he thought he found the place, he heard a crack under his foot before the edge of the cliff gave way and he began to fall. Was this the way his life as a human would end? Not beside his best friend, but on a cliff alone? Alone just like those nights he’d spend in his castle, cold with no one to spend the wealth with.

Out of nowhere, a hand grasped his before he fell to the depths, revealing to be Gon’s. “Gon…” Killua’s voice was drowsy and his vision was blurry, but he could recognize that spiky hair anywhere.

“I close my eyes for just a little while and I find you in this situation…What would you do without me Killua?” Gon asked, but he struggled as he tried to hold onto him.

“Gon!” The danger at hand finally registered in his head when he caught a glimpse of the spikes below him. The hold on him was beginning to slip and he could feel his heart well up with fear. “Gon! Just let go of me!”

“Never!” He refused loudly as he tried to pull him up. “I am never letting go of you Killua!”

Killua swallowed, trying his hardest to think of the best course of action. “Please Gon…” He tried to climb up the cliff, but he was worried that it would just make things worse. “I don’t want you to fall too.”

“I’d rather fall to my death than abandon you!” Gon was crying now, his strength weakening and he knew it was only a matter of time before the inevitable. “Because…You’re my most important friend!”

Droplets cascaded down Killua’s cheeks and stained his shirt right before the dirt below Gon crumbled. As they fell, their fingers intertwined and their gazes locked. At that moment, the stars aligned and their hearts sang even as their doom approached at alarming speeds. The seconds seemed longer, as if time was frozen still, but they would soon find death in the other’s arms and that’s all they could ever hope for.

 

**-x-x-**

 

White lights brightened up the sky as the two were carried by a large fluffy cloud that resembled the “cat” creature that humans have as pets. It was as large as a sailing ship that Killua would often see at ports and could move on its own, the same as all his other cloud creations. This one was different in the size and how it was able to carry both of them on its back with a lot of room left over. The cat leapt through the air while Killua was still unconscious but after a couple of minutes, Gon woke after feeling the night breeze whip against his cheek. He felt as though he was lying on a cloud and when he opened his eyes, his suspicions were right.

The stars were much closer and brighter than usual, the two of them were hovering above the houses on the islands and although he was shocked, he wasn’t scared at all. The cat sparkled from the moon’s beams and so did Killua. His hair was even whiter than usual and didn’t have a speck of dirt on him even though the two fell from a cliff. Gon glanced down at his own clothes, they were a mess. “Jeez you’re so great Killua,” he pouted a little but then grinned widely. Although the boy didn’t know how Killua was able to create a cat cloud, it didn’t stop him from loving him. He already had his suspicions with the way the boy would sometimes look years beyond his age. How he would sometimes be so quiet that you wouldn’t think he’s actually there. At times he would look ethereal underneath the moon as if it rejoiced being in _his_ presence and not the other way around.

“Gon…?” Killua opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was Gon’s face above him. He realized that he was using Gon as a lap pillow. “G-Gon!” He stuttered and tried to get up, but was gently pushed back as the other softly patted his head.

“Idiot,” the human boy huffed. “Don’t ever do that again Killua! We almost died!”

“No, I almost died, but then you had to be a big idiot as usual and come to help!” The tiny god shouted, earning him a flick on his forehead.

“Yeah I’m allowed to do it but you can’t!”

“Hah?!” Killua stood up; almost losing his balance once he felt the air pressure around him. “What—?” He realized that they were standing on a cloud, one of his clouds. “Gon I can explain—!”

Gon embraced him, his fists full of Killua’s clothing. “It’s okay, Killua,” he whispered against his neck. “You don’t need to tell me. It doesn’t change the way I feel about you…we promised to be friends no matter what.”

“But Gon you don’t know anything about me—!”

“You’re right, I don’t know anything. All that matters is that you’re the same Killua who adores clouds, bubbles, and chocolate. The one that knows the entire book of flower names without trying too hard, the one that stays up all night watching the stars. You’re the same Killua that would tuck me into bed every night after finding me huddled in a field of sunflowers.”

“You…You knew?” Killua stared at him. “You knew all this time that it was me?”

The boy glanced away while he scratched his cheek, “I didn’t know, but I had a hunch.”

“Then…this was all for nothing?” Killua sank down to his knees. That meant his effort to wipe Gon’s memory was useless, that there was no reason for him to stay in this human form.

“It wasn’t all for nothing!” Gon shouted, scaring the god. “Are you telling me that our friendship was meaningless?”

His heart ached at that thought, “What?! I would never regret becoming your friend!”

“I know…but if you hadn’t turned into a human, then I would have never met you Killua!” Gon’s voice trembled, “I would never have gotten to know you and that scares me.”

Killua looked down, “It…It scares me too,” he whispered. His heart was racing as he tried to come up with things to say, but nothing came to mind except one. “Do you…Do you want to hear about my life?”

Gon smiled before he lied down on the cloud and patted the spot beside him. The two talked for hours then, just drifting through the sky as they watched the night turn bright. Killua talked about everything, mainly the most important things. He spoke about his family and their divine powers. That he’s the most powerful out of all of them and is very unique. He brushed off the loneliness he felt as something unimportant, but that didn’t stop Gon from squeezing his hand in reassurance the whole time.

Gon decided to self-disclose as well. He talked about his parents, or well the small amount he actually knew. He told Killua that although he’s happy all the time, he also feels really lonely, especially at night. Most nights he would find himself in the sunflower patch, or in his bed in freshly cleaned clothes thanks to Mito. It wasn’t until Killua came around did those nights become better since he began to look forward to having the chance to meet the mysterious stranger. That fact pissed Killua off since if it was anyone but him, they would have definitely been a creeper.

When they returned home, the birds sang and everyone was busy staring their day. They tried to sneak into the room but got noticed before they could. Mito didn’t say anything and instead hugged them really tight and was reluctant to let go.

In that blissful moment of being accepted by the most important people in the universe, Killua forgot about the consequences to using his powers. However, he was reminded a few days later because sometimes gods are meant to only bring despair.

 

**-x-x-**

 

A few days later, Killua was blissfully unaware of the beings’ presence as they watched him closely from atop the roof. “Do you really think that is Killua-kami-sama?” One asked the other with eyes full of doubt.

“He is the only human in the mortal realm that glows with divinity! It has got to be this human.”

The lower god scoffed, “He does not resemble Killua-kami-sama at all!”

“No one has seen him in decades, do you remember his appearance?” The god smirked as the other became quiet, “Exactly. We must hurry back to Milluki-kami before he murders us again.”

“That is fine but if it turns out that I am right, you are the one that has to be boiled in oil.” The two bickered over the God of the Moon the entire way there. Everyone spoke about him being a tall and lean god, but the being they saw was a small human with chubby cheeks and a little attitude. However, the part that was the most alien to them was how much the child smiled and laughed with the voice of an angel without a care in the world.

The Killua they grew up hearing about was a fear inducing god that killed an entire population, bathing in their blood with a smirk on his porcelain features. The strongest God of the Moon in all of existence, the one that was feared by all of them for being able to create new life with just a puff of smoke with playful intentions only. He never once used it to create something other than an animal, but he could have easily created his own army if he wanted to. A painting held up in the main kingdom’s throne room was of Killua. His eyes would glow a deep blue as he stood with his battle armor created with dark matter and the stars, a full moon behind him and hundreds of large wolves by his side. It was the image they would show naughty little gods when they made trouble, a nightmare story told before bed, a story of legend and awe.

Voices echoed through the castle as furniture was thrown against walls. If it had been a normal wall, it would have a gaping hole, but instead the chair bounced off like rubber. Servants ran away, their hands covering their mouths as they tried to not inhale the dust swirling around Milluki in the throne room. “You mean to tell me that no one has found even a hint of Killua’s whereabouts!?” Another servant dropped to the ground, their throat full of dust as he filled the room with it. “Are all of you so useless that you cannot even find one simple person!?” He shouted.

“Killua-kami-sam—!” One servant stopped to correct themselves, “Killua-kami isn’t a normal person Milluki-kami-sama. He is your brother after all.”

“You are right,” Milluki agreed. Although he would normally have slit that servant’s throat, he was proud of being called with the higher honorific and only heard the positive part. “If you cannot find me in such a case than of course you cannot find Killua, but that does not excuse your insolence,” he added to show his superiority.

“Milluki-kami-sama,” the two guards appeared just in time for Milluki to disperse the dust for them to be able to breathe.

“What is it peasants?” He asked, sitting on his throne with his legs wide and his head supported by one hand.

They both kneeled before him, never looking him in the eye, “We have found a human that reeks of Killua-kami and we believe that it may be him in hiding.”

Milluki cocked one eyebrow with a frown, “You _believe_?”

The two swallowed before the floors began to quake under his power, but they continued. “We found a human child, he has white hair and blue eyes just like what you would see in books, however there are things that are…off about his appearance.”

“And what would that be?”

“This child…smiles my God,” one of them didn’t dare to look up as he continued. “He laughs without a care in the world and sometimes even sings, a different person than what we were taught about from during the War.”

“Killua…was smiling?” He asked with the most incredulous look possible. Even if it wasn’t his little brother, it was worth having a look at him. “We must go then!” He stood with eagerness in his step.

A servant with black hair and glasses suddenly appeared by his side, “You cannot go my God,” he whispered.

“And why is that Gotoh?” Milluki asked. He was conscious of the poofy black haired servant not too far behind Gotoh.

Gotoh pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “Illumi-kami has people watching you right now and if you leave, they will alert him.”

“Let them alert him!” He shouted so that the other servants could hear, but Gotoh knew that Milluki had a fear of the eldest Zoldyck sibling. He paused so that Gotoh could take the hint to try to stop him from going.

A sigh escaped his lips as he tried to resist the urge to roll his eyes. “Someone must stay in the castle. In case enemies decide to attack us Milluki-kami-sama.”

“Hmm,” Milluki pondered it for a second, but was quick to agree. “Yes I must go, but the two of you must bring others along. Adorn yourselves with armor in case it is a trick from _them_ and bring an orb so that I may enjoy myself.” He emphasized on ‘them’ and their faces turned paler than a sheet. There was no need to explain just who ‘them’ was since they all knew.

The room became tense since they also heard the mention of their enemies but relaxed when Gotoh bowed before the large god, “You have heard him, now be on your way and do not forget to report everything later.”

The two guards bowed and flew to their military quarters to find others to tag along on this mission of theirs. They adorned themselves with the finest armor, made of metals from the moon, their kingdom’s strongest material which was practically unbreakable. Soon four troops descended to Earth, ready to fight an imaginary war.

When they got to the home, they were surprised to find it empty but it smelled of humans. They used their powers to see the remains of divinity, or nen. Everyone had their own color and one was the color of electric blue that covered most of the house, as if it were protecting it. There was definitely no ordinary human living in that home.

They hovered at a good distance, enough to see everything but not too close to be found. While the two stayed in the clouds, the others decided to get a closer look for they had never ventured so close to the mysterious beings before. Only two female humans were left on the property, one old and the other young. In their curiosity, they stepped a little too close and revealed themselves to the two humans by accident.

The older of the two humans gasped at the sight of them. One guard panicked and used his power to make her fall to the ground unconscious.

“Grandma!?” The younger one moved to her side, her hands trembling as she tried to lightly shake her awake. “What did you do?” She asked, but at the sight of her, the guards’ faces grew dark over the thought of how inferior she truly is. They knew humans were weak, but not so weak as to fall by such a simple command.

“You seem to be a good way to pass the time while we wait for news of the other human child,” the bulkiest of the guards held her up, his hand gripping tightly on her upper arm.

“Let go of me!” She said as she struggled. However, her kicks did nothing but tire her faster. Her legs slowly became numb, making it impossible to escape unless she crawled on her hands and knees.

Another human came running towards them, his nen stronger than most humans, but not the one they were looking for. “Let go of Mito-san!” The child shouted.

“Heh,” one of them stood in his path, a smirk on his lips. “Do not test us human boy.”

“Let go of her!” Gon screamed at the top of his lungs, actually making the gods cower, not used to the different air pressure and the sounds.

“Unhand her you fools!” Killua appeared suddenly on a cloud.

“Killua…” Gon turned to him with a huge smile on his face, tears in his eyes. However when he looked, he wasn’t in the form he was used to. Killua stood at 6 feet tall, his body lean with muscles and eyes that would make any man step back in fear. His nails sharpened into claws as his electric blue veins throbbed. Even his hair was more beautiful than usual as it glistened like pure silver.

“Ki—,” the guards began, but then moved to kneel before him, their foreheads touching the earth. “Killua-kami-sama,” they used the highest honorific for him. “You really are as we had imagined.”

“Hear me now,” Killua’s voice echoed through the air as if cutting it in half. “If any of you, even Illumi were to even attempt to bring harm to these humans again, I will personally see to you entering the void and never seeing the light for an eternity.”

They all swallowed, there were only two ways for a god to perish, either to be reincarnated again as another being or to be pushed into the void to live out their sentence. The worst cases are the ones that enter the void and are never allowed out. The citizens of the kingdom live in fear of someone letting them out one day since it would wreak havoc on their peaceful lives. “W-We understand God of the Moon,” they paused to glance at him again for another look at his gorgeous features, but were stopped as a fog surrounded them. A large cloud hovered above their heads seeming innocent before it became dark and full of water. It only took seconds for them to realize it wasn’t any ordinary liquid that threatened to fall but acid.

“Leave now before I show you what I loved to use against my enemies,” Killua calmly ordered them. Even he didn’t see anyone run away so fast in his long existence. He watched them return to the heavens before picking up both Mito and her grandmother. “Hurry we must keep them somewhere safe,” he said to Gon.

Gon was afraid of the new Killua, but it wasn’t enough to make him truly _fear_ him. The scowl and death glare was replaced with a worried frown and saddened eyes, resembling the child he spent his summer with. The two put them in the only hospital on the island, one that only had a few beds but luckily was empty for the most part. They traveled on a cloud to return home.

Killua instantly turned back into a human as smoke swirled around him, “I used all of the power I had left…” He looked at his small hands and squeezed them closed.

“It’s alright!” Gon smiled, “I like you better as a human anyway.” Killua’s eyes were full of despair at that and before he could say another word, Gon stopped him. “No, you can’t.”

“Gon…I—!” Killua stood, his hands balled into fists.

“I won’t let you!” Gon grabbed his shoulders, tears threatening to fall from his eyes, “Killua don’t. Killua _please_ —!”

“I’m sorry,” Killua whispered before Gon fell asleep in his arms, his body light despite them having similar builds. Killua carried him home as he wept to himself. _I’m so sorry, but it’s the only way._

 

**-x-x-**

 

Hours later, Gon woke in a panic. “Killua!” He shouted before he finally opened his eyes, finding himself in a dark room, not a sound could be heard. He ran through the house, remains of Killua still there but the god himself was nowhere to be found. That’s when he realized that there was only one place he could be if he was still on the island and not in heaven.

Heart beating fast, legs screaming in pain, his thoughts raced as he tried to get there, even just a second sooner could make a difference. Gon tried to exert his limits as he told himself to hurry up. _Come on, run run RUN!_ Tears streamed down his face as he ran through the fields of grass. _I don’t want to miss him. I don’t want him to leave. Hurry up legs mover faster! RUN!_

Bright yellow flowers stood out as the moon shined brightly, a small child gazing at them. He looked up and down, up and down. It was as if he was trying to decide which to choose. Should he return to the heavens, return to the moon? Or should he stay here on earth with the flowers and the dirt?

“Killua!” Gon screamed as he reached the patch of sunflowers, running through the rows and rows, the colors mixing as he rushed to stand before his friend. He was finally able to catch his breath, but he took shallow ones.

The sunflowers danced in the breeze, unaware of the two people in their field as one stared while the other avoided their gaze. Killua’s appearance was exactly the same as before, yet his eyes glowed like gems and his hair shined like silver once again. Gon held up his flower diary in his hands, “You…can have this if you want,” he whispered and placed it into Killua’s.

“For me…?” Killua asked and turned the book over, the feeling of the leather under his palm brought a smile to his face, but he could feel the tears begin to form.

“What are you going to do now, Killua?” Gon asked.

“I’m…” He pulled the ends of his shirt while he tried to stay composed, but faltered. “I’m leaving.”

The tug at Gon’s heart made him want to cry, but he was calm, “When will you return?” His voice sounded hopeful even though he tried not to be. Breathing became too hard for him as he attempted to not show his disappointment, for if Killua knew of his true feelings, how would he react? What would a god do? Would Killua hold him, telling him not to be afraid, that he’s never going anywhere? No…that would never be possible for the god already promised him that one night in a dream under the stars. He made a promise as his best friend…his only friend and that the two would never be apart for long. Yet here he was, breaking it. They pinky swore to never make the other sad. _We pinky swore_. “Killua…I—”

“Gon!” His sudden shout cuts the boy off; he stared down at his feet before he finally gazed up at him. “I’m not…coming back,” he said.

The lump in his throat was hard for him to swallow, “What…What do you mean you’re not coming back?” _You promised to never abandon me. You pinky swore you would never leave me like my parents did._ All the things he wanted to say were stuck, refusing to leave his closed lips. “Why are you leaving?” Gon asked again, his shoulders trembling.

Killua clenched his fists, hearing the notable difference in Gon’s voice and how he tried to avoid his eyes made him want to drop everything and just hold him, but that would be wrong. “I can’t stay here any longer.”

“Is it…because I’m a human and you’re a god?”

“Yes.” Pain graced his features for a second before he nodded. “It’s too dangerous now, Gon!” His eyes darted back and forth between Gon’s eyes and the stars behind him. “They know I’m here, they’ve seen me. They know that the three of you are precious to me and will use you to their advantage!” He bit his lip, “You haven’t seen how…scary Illumi and Milluki can be Gon. You can’t just reason with them!” The book in his hands calmed him down, but he couldn’t stop himself from shouting.

A few seconds passed as the two stood, the light from the moon being the only thing that allowed them to see each other’s faces. “Are they going to punish you?” The silence told him _yes, they will_. “…Are you…going to erase my memories?”

“That…” _I don’t want to_ , Killua thought. Knuckles turned white as he gripped onto his only hope. The shirt he wore, the shirt _Gon gave him_ became wrinkled in his grip. “That…would be for the best.”

“I—!” Gon suddenly grabbed Killua’s hands; the book fell onto the lush grass below them. His voice carried and echoed throughout the empty field, only the flowers knew of the transaction between the two. “I don’t want to forget you Killua!” His voice was loud as he shouted, admitting how much he cared. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me…how could I ever wish to forget that…?”

Killua’s eyes well up, but he stood strong, “Gods aren’t allowed to talk to humans. Humans should never see a god,” he recited the words that were beaten into him growing up.Words that he had ignored that whole summer in Gon’s presence since they didn’t matter. However now he knew of the danger his existence would bring to them. He never noticed the guards in his oblivious state and that scared him.

“I don’t care if you’re a god!” He retorted, his tears staining Killua’s shirt. “You’re my friend before being a god.”

Confusion numbed his senses, but Killua paused only for a second, unsure, “Then…is it…alright for me to call your name from now on…?” He asked, his lip turning red from his nervousness. It sounded like something normal, but he had been afraid. Afraid that Gon would fear his god self, just like everyone else did. The human boy heard of what his true appearance is like, but it was the first time he saw it for himself. He didn’t back away and that made him happier than he wanted to admit. _Is it all right for me to want to stay by your side?_ He thought, but the words come out a jumbled mess. His mind raced as he tried to come up with an excuse for the sudden question, but nothing came to mind. His white hair began to glisten more with the moon beams illuminating the two in the sunflower patch. For once, the beautiful flowers gazed up towards the moon, as if knowing that this may be the last time the two will ever see each other.

Mimicking the flowers, Gon gazed up at him, the shock in his eyes evident, but his lips turned upwards into a dazzling smile, “Killua!” He spread his arms wide, wanting to embrace him, the god that could induce fear in many. But that didn’t matter to him because he’s his friend.

The dam on Killua’s emotions crumbled as tears flowed freely down his cheeks. He craved the warmth he had been dreaming about for months now, the warmth of someone who knew the secret he had been hiding. A person that knew of his evil deeds and yet still cared for him, still _loved_ him, but should he really do it? _Is it alright for me to touch a being that’s even greater than an inferior creature such myself?_

Gon smiled at him with his arms still wide.

 “…G-Gon…!” Killua stammered out finally, his eyes damp. “Gon!!” The tears fell down his face as he finally got to hold Gon in his arms. He lifted him up and twirled him around in a circle, both of them crying and giggling.

Gon beamed softly as Killua embraced him. He was just so happy to see that Killua doesn’t hate him. That he’s not leaving because he wants to, he’s leaving because he’s being forced to.

Before they could return home, a black beam of light parted the clouds and two beings floated down, hovering above them. “Killua-kami you must come with us now,” one of them spoke with a commanding tone, but their eyes never left Gon’s back in fear of angering the Moon God.

Although Gon couldn’t react fast enough to their sudden appearance, Killua was ready for them. “No!” Killua glared at them, his glistening eyes changing into ones full of rage, “You are not forcing me to return, I slaughtered thousands of _them_ and I can do the same to you.”

Gon was stunned, but picked up on the mention of _them_.

“Fine,” another being came down, celestial robes that had galaxies woven into it adorned their tall slender frame. “If you refuse to comply Killu, then I am taking this ‘Gon’ you care so deeply about and I will not be returning him in one piece.”

Killua immediately moved in front of Gon, his child form growing into his divine body before their eyes. His nails grew long as he fumed, a fog forming around the sunflowers. “Touch him Illumi and I will slaughter you here and now,” he threatened. However, before he could act upon his threats, he felt chains wrap around his body and tighten. He struggled as hard as he could but Illumi smirked, angering him on purpose. Killua could have easily used his powers, but that could endanger Gon. He couldn’t bring himself to risk such a chance.

“Take him back to the kingdom so that mother and father can decide his punishment,” with a smirk, Illumi turned around, the trail of his robe made of galaxies shimmered behind him. Before he disappeared, one of the deities spoke to him.

“What would you want us to do Illumi-kami-sama?” One asked as they bowed before Illumi since he’s one of the highest ranked deities.

At this point, Killua turned towards Gon and mouthed a few words to him, _I’m glad to have met you Gon._ Before he could continue, another chain slipped between his lips, scraping against his teeth. Human bones would have broken just from the impact alone, but in his divine body, he was perfectly unharmed. His vision was masked; the last thing he saw was Gon on the ground with wide eyes full of tears as his last words registered in his mind.

Illumi’s pale skin and dark eyes resembled the moon that would haunt Gon’s nightmares. “Leave him here to die alone without Killu.”

As Gon watched them leave, he cradled the forgotten book that had slipped out of Killua’s hands. His dairy full of their time together was now tainted with the soil, smudges on his beautiful drawings. The sunflower scene was no longer as beautiful as it once had been. “Please don’t take him…” He gasped as his throat felt tight, his body longing for Killua, his hands outstretched towards the bright moon. “I can’t do this without you Killua. I can’t—!” He felt his strength leave him as his eyes became heavy. The laughing moon was the last thing he saw as his face hit the ground.

 

**-x-x-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that painful enough? Honestly I don't think it's that bad.


	4. It's All My Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of a filler chapter, an insight on how Gon reacted to everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went through this, but still not beta read.

**-x-x-**

 

Inside the main castle, two gods sat on their thrones as they waited impatiently for their sons’ return. “We must kill the human child,” Kikyo hissed to her husband as the two sat beside each other. She continued to speak behind a dainty hand, “He has become a danger to us all. He knows too much.”

“Well we must first speak to Killua before we make our judgement,” Silva replied but kept his gaze forward, facing the entrance to the throne room.

Sounds of a portal opening up brought their attention to the open space before them. Killua was suddenly brought in with glowing chains that clasped his wrists and ankles by guards. He was forced to kneel before them.

“Killua!” Kikyo smiled happily. “I am so happy that we can now decide your human’s fate. Perhaps being doomed an eternity in ice might suffice as a sentence?” She suggested, straight to the point.

Almost immediately, Killua stood up to glare daggers at them. “Do not touch him. If you touch him I will never forgive you.” His voice was deep, fully intending to keep his word. “I will curse you for eternity!”

Kikyo gasped in horror as her son argued against her, but a smile graced her pale features. “If this human child can cause such a reaction from our Killua, then he really is dangerous.”

“You—!” He glared, his claws reaching out to her.

Before Killua could say another word, Illumi appeared in a puff of smoke and hovered before him. He stared down at the boy as he kneeled on the cold hard ground, “Do not speak to our parents in such a rude manner again Killu or else.”

“Shut your mouth!” The chained up Moon God spat without hesitation. He glared up at Illumi, his nails now sharper than knives.

Their father’s booming voice made them snap their heads up instantly, “Calm down Killua, Illumi.” He looked at both of them, a sharp glare directed at Illumi specifically. In spite of the betrayal he felt, he calmly walked down towards Killua and placed a rough hand on his forehead, “Calm down Killua. We just need to think about this thoroughly.”

Long nails retracted to its original size as he gazed at Silva, “Father, please do not touch him. You can punish me in the worst ways possible; whether it’s as a god or a human I will receive it all with my head held high…” Killua’s chest tightened as he imagined Gon feeling the pain in his place.  “Just leave Gon…this _human_ alone,” he pleaded.

Silva paused for a second, his eyes observing thoughtfully as it roamed Killua’s broken frame, “Is this child precious?”

Killua gulped, his eyes darted everywhere before he stared at him straight on. “More so than I ever thought I could have admitted before I met him.”

“Hm,” Silva pondered it for a second. “I would leave him be…but Illumi is the one with control this time Killua. There is nothing I can do,” Silva apologized and stood up, his expression passive. “You must discuss this matter with your brothers while your mother and I return to our own castle.” He motioned for his wife to follow him.

Kikyo glanced at Illumi for a second, “You should remember to not break your brother completely Illumi. He is the successor of the Zoldyck Royal line and must be protected…That does not mean he has to survive unscathed however.” She whispered the last part before the two disappeared into the dark void without another word. They trusted their other sons to deal with their favorite for the time being and not even their ancestors could save him.

Now it was only the two of them and the guards that remained. After a long pause, the young god looked up at his brother. “Just…Give Gon some peace of mind…Illumi-kami,” Killua pleaded to the eldest brother the best he could. “Please just a little, put him at ease, I do not know what I would do if something ever happens to Gon.”

The tall god paused, his long elegant hair floating down his back, the tips of it curling towards Killua’s lips before it whipped his cheek. “Illumi-kami…?” His own name rolled off of his tongue. It tasted delectable with the unheard of honorific spoken by the younger god. “Just how much do you care about this…human child?” He paused, spitting the last part.

“Enough to give my powers away for him,” the light in Killua’s eyes did not waiver; instead it shined brighter than ever before.

Illumi stared down at him, his cold dark eyes firm. “You would rather be a human than a god, just for this…Gon?” He asked.

“If it means that this child can live the rest of his life in peace, then yes. I will take your punishment as a human, just to save Gon all the pain.”

Out of nowhere, Milluki’s voice roared throughout the room after he appeared from the void. “How dare you, do you think this is all a game?!” He stormed down to where Killua kneeled, the dust picking up around him in his rage, “You do realize that there is no going back after this point?”

Without hesitation, Killua lifted his head up to hold his gaze, “I do.”

Now Milluki stood before Killua, for once their roles are reversed. He wanted his revenge against Killua since he snatched everything he ever wanted from his clutches. He took away his right to be the heir of their bloodline and is now giving it all away. For the God of the Moon to give up his divine powers for a human child, for a human _boy_ was unheard of. It brought shame to the Zoldyck Royal line amongst deities. The trembling of his body was too much—he was shaking with rage. “You had everything, everything a god could ever want, the highest amongst the top tier and yet you give it all away. For this human…this child…this Gon!” He shouted at last, and his hand moving to hit Killua with a whip but was stopped as a ribbon swirled around his outstretched weapon and yanked it away.

Behind Illumi, Alluka stood with her bright brown eyes that swirled with anger. “Milluki-kami,” the ribbons around her waist lit up a bright pink and moved on its own to pull him to the ground. “You need to be nicer to Onii-chan!”

Despite the blood dripping slow from the shallow line across his cheek, Killua’s resolve remained undeterred. “You can break my soul, take my divinity away, crush me, torture me, burn me, but if you even think about being within a meter of Gon, I will take my time to enjoy your last breath.” He glowered at his brothers as his blue eyes turned black, “The same goes for everyone else.” Now his voice was slick with venom, black smoke that thundered and sparked slipped out from between his lips as he spoke, “You do not want to make an enemy out of me, none of you have seen me serious and you do not want to start now.”

“Onii-chan…”  The only one in the room, in the entire castle that didn’t feel a cold claw run its hand down their spine was Alluka whom dropped to her knees, her arms wrapping around Killua like wings of an angel.

The two were happy for a moment before the guards yanked on Killua’s chains, forcing him onto his stomach. Milluki walked towards him and gripped a fist full of Killua’s white locks, pulling him up to stand, their difference in height staggering. “Don’t taint his innocence.”

Once again his eyes burned, “Alluka is a girl stop calling her a he!”

Yet he just ignored him. “Take him away to that dungeon,” Milluki signaled the guards, but felt an icy touch on his arm as Illumi loomed behind him, his aura dark and menacing. He grimaced as the frost spread over his entire shoulder.

“Who said that you could dictate where Killu goes hmm, Milluki?” Illumi tilted his head to the side, “Kalluto.”

In a flurry of red silk woven by space worms, Kalluto appeared before them. “Yes, Illumi-kami?” Kalluto asked, his kimono fluttered in the wind around him before it finally dissipated.

“You should know what to do next,” Illumi ordered and turned around, robes made of tiny galaxies floating in the air behind him as he disappeared.

The last thing that Killua saw was Kalluto’s eyes blazing red before he felt a pain in his neck.

**-x-x-**

 

After that night, rain poured from the sky for days as if the clouds were mourning the loss of the god. Everyone stayed indoors, wondering what could have caused the sudden storm, clouds gathered right above Whale Island. When the clouds finally dispersed, the people couldn’t be happier. Everything was full of life and the mountains were greener than what they had seen in years. Despite the heavy rain fall, none of the plants were lost even with major flooding in some areas. It was incredible.

Even when the clouds drifted away, Gon never ventured far from the house. The forest was just a far off memory to him because all he could see was Killua’s retreating back as he was taken in for punishment, punishment because of him.

Although he felt incredibly guilty, he mainly felt loneliness. They always said that it’s better to love and lost than to have never loved at all, right? Then…why did his chest ache so?

“It was for the best, right?” Gon laughed bitterly as his resolve began to chip away. “I want to disappear…” He didn’t know what to do. The feeling in his chest just wouldn’t leave. Days would pass and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t leave his room. No matter how many times Mito-san knocked on his door to come in, she still found him in bed, never moving an inch. An island of comfort surrounded by the mess that he didn’t want to clean, couldn’t clean. Little bits of his memory with his best friend, the only evidence he had left that proved what they had was real and it wasn’t all just a dream. It was the perfect summer, a summer full of never ending memories and moonbeams.

Things that had once made him happy were now just awful reminders of the greatest time of his life. Killua truly cared for him and it wasn’t because he had to, it was because he wanted to. This god, a superior being to his frail human body wanted to be _his_ friend. Someone so important paid attention to him when he had felt so alone…How could he forget the warmth that he had been craving for as long as he could even remember? How is he supposed to move on after tasting what could have been? He just couldn’t. No one could ever succeed in making him feel so much love in such a short amount of time like Killua did and now he’s gone. He was gone forever.

“I miss you so much Killua…” Gon’s hand gently glided over the ink on the worn out pages of the book that lied in his lap. He wiped off the tears threatening to fall that would result in ruining the pages. It was the book he made but had gifted the god. Yet in that rush, it was left behind in the dirt. “As much as I vow, as much as I pray, I have these miserable dreams about you suffering without me knowing and it’s scaring me Killua.” 

It didn’t take a while for the dreams to begin again once night fell. The dark room filled with long shadows that lurked, ready to chop off his head with a sharp scythe if he even dared to close his eyes. The moment the room became darker, his eyelids became heavy and the voices began.

“ _Killua never loved you Gon. You were nothing more than a measly human to pass the time for such a great immortal, a god with a high status even among other deities_ ,” the voice slivered up his back and over his right ear to whisper slick words full of self-loathing.

Gon shook his head, his eyes closed tightly as he tried his best to disregard the pain as the words stabbed into his heart, leaving it open and bleeding. “I may have been just a way to pass the time but it doesn’t matter.” It was fine with him because at least he was a little bit useful to Killua and that’s all he ever wanted…for his life to have meaning for once. The voice would constantly whisper things in his ear, a manifestation of his negativity. So powerful that it became its own being in his head.

No matter how hard he tried to suppress his spiteful thoughts, it was always there at the back of his mind. Every night before he met Killua, Gon would go to bed feeling as if he was the luckiest boy in the world but wake up to find himself hunched over in the dirt, the filth underneath his nails, cheeks streaked with tears and blood slowly streaming down his knees. It was as though he was crouched down below the strong stems of the sunflowers, clawing at his skin in his dreams to wake up. The flowers that normally gaze towards the sky looked menacing from underneath as they now hovered over his head, staring into his soul with mistrusting faces, nightmares in disguise as a sweet summer dream.

Gon would wake with a cold sweat, his hand outstretched towards the ceiling as if reaching for something, but it would always escape him in the end. The boy would sometimes scream so loudly that Mito and his great grandma would have to shake him awake.

Now he held onto the clothes that lightly smelled of Killua while trying to rest, the only item that could lull him to sleep even if there were no happy dreams that awaited him. A void that numbed him, but it was better than constant nightmares that attempted to lure him into self-inflicting pain.

The day Gon finally left his room, he made sure to go early in the morning before the others woke up. He walked to the highest peak on the island, the closest he could be to the heavens. After days of being holed up in his room, suffocating himself to not remember the way Killua left his mark on everything, he yelled for someone to hear him. To hear the torment he felt. For hours until his lips bled and his voice cracked, he yelled. But even then he didn’t give up as he screamed for someone to answer him.

“Please…Please will anyone answer me?” The quiet voice from Gon drifted into a certain God’s ear as they watched him. A lot of time passed since the last time the child had seen another celestial being, ever since Killua left months ago. “I know that you cannot hear me, but can we talk? I just want to know how Killua is doing.”

He waited and waited, but received no response, but still continued. “I know that I’m supposed to have my memory wiped clean, but even if it was, I feel that I could never forget him. Killua is my most important friend!”

Without him knowing, a small group of gods gathered around a mirror formed by water to watch him intently. They whispered over how ridiculous the child is and that they should have finished him off when they had the chance. One god however, stood suddenly, their robes covering their face as they listened intently to report to their older sibling.

“Please…I just want to know if he’s alright because he did so much for me…and I just want to repay the favor somehow. Even if it’s only a little, I want to put Killua’s mind at ease.”

The familiar phrase made one god disappear into the shadows; a small gasp escaped their lips as Gon spoke about their brother the way their brother spoke about him. Now they knew what to do and it needed to be done and soon.

When he finally gave up, Gon dragged himself to the sunflower patch, his eyelids heavy and his throat dry. The sight of their beauty no longer calmed him like they once did. “Why…Why did you have to leave me too?” He sobbed, the pain only got worse as the days went on. “I thought you were going to be here for me Killua…even if you must watch me from above. You promised that and yet you…You must be laughing at me as you sit on your golden throne.”

“Well _excuse_ you! My Onii-chan would never do that!” A glittering mirage dissipated to show someone almost as beautiful as Killua around his height. She was wearing a traditional kimono woven by the most magnificent fabric he had ever gazed upon. “And here I thought you were nice! I guess I should not waste my time.”

“W-Who are…you?” Gon asked blinking, her round perky face resembling Killua in his human child form. “Do you know Killua?!” He stumbled over to her, “Is Killua okay? Please tell me that he’s okay!” He shouted and bowed in front of her, his forehead kissing the earth, a sign of deep loyalty.

Seeing this human bow because of his deep feelings towards her brother made her heart swell. She smiled softly and patted Gon’s head. “My name is Alluka, child,” she said softly. When he looked up, she lifted his chin and smiled even more. “Stand up child, you do not need to bow to me, if anything I should be the one bowing.”

“What do you mean?” The confused look on his face made her giggle softly.

“No one has ever regarded my Onii-chan in such a high manner before,” the smile on her face disappeared immediately. “My Onii-chan has been held captive in the deepest part of the kingdom, far away from even the most powerful deities ever since you two parted. He’s forced to stay there to suffer for centuries.” She stomped her foot, “Illumi-kami even stripped his divine powers and Milluki-kami enjoys watching him bleed…” She glanced at Gon from the corner of her eyes in an attempt to analyze this person her brother would give up his life for.

“This…” Gon fell onto the ground, his big amber eyes swelling with tears. “This is all my fault!” If only he had never continued to visit the sunflowers for a chance to see the mysterious being that would carry him…hold him with such warmth and care that he had craved for years. If only he had never opened his eyes that day and instead continued to pretend to sleep so that he could gaze from afar. Perhaps none of this would have happened, what was the point of all those dreams coming true for them to only be replaced by nightmares? “I…I can never do anything right!” He screamed, his fists full of dirt as he clawed into the earth, his heart aching. Why did he have to ruin everything he touched?

“Child…Gon,” Alluka’s gentle voice enveloped him in love. “You did nothing wrong, it is _I_ that must apologize to you for putting you in the middle of this.” Tears began to flow down her face, glittering as they pooled to form a puddle on the dirt, flowers springing forth from the soil. “There is one thing you can do to help Onii-chan, but I would never wish this pain onto anyone.”

Gon’s chest filled with hope, the dirt in his hands sprouted little flowers from her tears. “What can I do?”

Not a hint of hesitation could be seen on Gon’s tanned features, she smiled slightly for she was happy that her brother finally found the person he loves. She closed her eyes as she searched for the right words, but there was no way to put it nicely. Opening them slowly, she placed her hand over Gon’s heart with a light tap. “You must die.”

The last thing he heard was Alluka choking back a sob as he felt his chest practically burst under her power. “I am sorry but this is the only way— _I am so sorry_ ,” she couldn’t look him in the eye as her hands glowed.

_Just what is she sorry for_? Gon thought as he smiled at her, shaking his head in his subconscious state, being of use was more than enough for a lousy existence such as himself. His vision slowly turned black as his body was covered in thick green vines with large bright crimson flowers that smelled of iron. “T-Thank you…I-I can finally repay him…I can finally be of use.” His voice was weak, barely above a whisper. Slowly his eyes closed before he could feel the tiny god’s hands surround him, already regretting her decision as more flowers bloomed from her tears.

 

**-x-x-**


End file.
